Never a dull moment

Tonight SMH and I are going to the gym. This is a big deal because:
a) Despite the fact that Oly is the capital city of WA, there is not a lot going on in town, so a night at the gym qualifies as “a night out”; and
b) Having been sick for the past 2 weeks, I have had no physical activity beyond walking the dog, so I really need to do something other than lay on the couch.

All the cool kids in town go to the chic local gym, Valley. We are not in the “cool kid” group, so we go to Bally’s (When people ask me where we work out, if I mumble when I answer, it kind of sounds like I’m saying “Valley”…so, sometimes I can fool people into thinking I’m a cool kid.) Bally’s is a desperate place altogether. I’d like to be one of those people that just can’t survive if they skip a day at the gym, but let’s be honest, it’s always a struggle. It is a particular struggle here because the treadmills—a necessary evil given the rain situation—are lined up in a row, all situated some 12 inches from the wall. So, as you run, you stare at nothing but the wall (unless you’ve scored the one treadmill in front of the tv). Which is why I love SMH for getting me an iPod Shuffle for Christmas.

So, this was the scene the last time I went to the gym: I was relishing my iPod shuffle experience, really kicking ass as Sir Mix-A-Lot sang the praises of having a big butt. And then, I started laughing to myself, because after Mix A Lot came LL Cool J, followed by Ice T, followed by…Neil Diamond. So, I’m thinking, HaHa, isn’t it funny that I’m rocking out to “Cracklin’ Rose”?

But no, what’s funny is the guy who has gotten on the treadmill next to me: A teva-sandal-wearing guy who does this nutty thing where he runs for 5 seconds, then kicks his legs up and lands them on the treadmill monitor in front of him. Then, as he suspends himself by the handlebars, he swings his legs side to side. He rests his feet for a second, then sways and shimmies his body to the right and to the left. So, now I’m listening to “Sweet Caroline,” and I’m watching this weirdo who is acting like a monkey in a zoo...all the while, pretending that I’m not the least bit interested in him, just looking straight ahead and studying the cracks on the wall 12 inches in front of me. And then he turns around and starts running backwards on the treadmill. As he turns around to face forward again, he loses his balance and almost falls—and I kind of lunge towards him in an attempt to catch him lest he fly off the treadmill. But, he catches himself and thereby averts a catastrophe for both of us.

Anyway, the point of the story is: Good to know that I haven’t lost my touch in attracting the freaks.